I am going to be writing a post about fears… I don’t really know why – it just popped into my head and I thought I would write about it.
As a psychology student I know that some people believe that fears are just something we’re born with, that we’ve inherited these fears through birth and in some ways I can see how this makes sense. Hundreds or years ago when humans lived in the heart of the jungle or whatever and there were poisoners spiders that could kill you with one bite there was reason to be scared, but now, when spiders are so tiny and not harmful at all it’s kind of weird to think we would be scared of them. But some people believe that because hundreds of years ago humans were scared of spiders that means that some people are scared of spiders even though it’s irrational.
I think fears are really weird because people can have fears of such abnormal things and it’s really hard to imagine that people can be scared of some things that people take for complete granted and it can destroy some people’s lives. For instance, people who have a fear of spoons or a fear of buttons. Not just a tiny fear but a proper phobia, just imagine how controlling that fear must be if you can’t touch or see a spoon or a button, it must keep you in complete isolation.
I have developed quite a few fears over the years and I don’t really know where they’ve come from and it can be really difficult, upsetting and controlling sometimes.
I’ve always had a fear of spiders but it’s never really been that bad, I usually want the spider gone but if it’s a little spider I can cope with it being in the same room as me, but I do try and avoid places where I know there are spiders, but spiders are so natural especially around this time of year that it becomes quite difficult to avoid them. In some cases it’s less of a fear and more just plain gross and creepy. For instance if you ever see loads of little spiders just after they’ve hatched out of their eggs it is truly the most repulsive creepy thing I have ever seen, but they’re so tiny I’m not really scared of them just grossed out by the hundreds of little spiders everywhere.
In the last few years I have developed a fear of: dying; water; sharks; heights and oblivion. I consider dying and oblivion to kind of be the same kind of fear but I think the fear of dying is properly the one that has left me with the most serious physical affects but my fear of water is the one that is the most controlling. I’ve had a couple of panic attacks before in the middle of the night when I’ve been up late thinking about dying and oblivion and how one day nothing in the world will even exist, and it became a much bigger realisation when they talked about it in The Fault In Our Stars and how one day there will be no one left to remember all the most highly regarded humans let alone me, someone who hasn’t achieved anything all that special. And it just makes me feel sick and terrified when I think about it, even writing about it now is making me feel a little panicky and it’s honestly the worst feeling in the world.
My fear of water started a few years ago and there’s no real reason for it because I’ve been on boats before and really enjoyed it and had a really great time, I’m a really great swimmer and I used to love playing in the sea but then overtime I just developed this immense fear of water and now I can’t go on boats or near water, I can’t even have a bath! I have to stick to only showers because being surrounded by moving water in that way makes me feel really sick. I think the fear kind of started as I got older and I became more able to imagine things and I imagined what it must be like to be on a boat hundreds of miles out in the sea and to be able to see nothing but sea, no land for miles and miles, no other sign of humans or any living thing and that is what scares me – the thought that there’s no one there to see you or save you if something goes wrong and the incredible depth of the sea is just so scary to me, if you fall in you can fall for miles and miles effectively and never be able to escape and it just terrifies me and I feel like it’s so unnecessary to ever go out on the water when it’s so dangerous unless it’s completely necessary. Like people that do it for fun such as going rowing, canoeing or kayaking or going on week long cruises I feel like it’s just putting yourself at unnecessary risk.
However, my fear of heights and my fear of water makes the idea of travelling quite difficult. I’ve never really travelled before but if you’ve seen My Bucket List you will know I have quite a few places I want to go and I’m really looking forward to going to them but I’m going to have to face one or both of my fears to get there. I feel like flying would be the best option for me as I find the idea of planes quite exciting and I’m completely fascinated by how we’ve invented something so huge and heavy that can actually remain in the sky! Although, I’m also fascinated by how we make boats float when they’re so huge! Especially that new cruise ship which is the biggest one in the world! If you want to see me about that you can go and check out Aspyn and Parker’s travel vlog about it. Anyway, going on a plane would mean I had to face my fear of heights and my fear of water as lots of the time we would be flying over the water but I feel like I don’t have a fear of the water if it’s not really close and directly affecting me and seeing it from the sky wouldn’t be anywhere near as close as seeing it up close on a boat – not that I would plan on looking out of the window anyway. Some places I could get to by train but then there’s the fear that the tunnel will cave in and I will be drowned in this train with no means of escape… sometimes it really sucks being me living with all these fears but I know I have it so much better off than some people.
I think that’s it for this post, I feel like I have talked about fears to exhaustion now!
If you enjoyed or can relate to anything in this post please feel free to leave a comment! If you’re new around here you could always hit the follow button and leave a comment saying hi! 🙂 If you yourself have written a post on fears or maybe have some advice that isn’t too dramatic on ways to get over your fears please leave a link or comment!
That’s all for now!
Inspired Teen 🙂