Hey guys, sorry it’s been quite a while, I’m always insanely busy with loads of commitments in the summer but hopefully things will be quietening down soon – and by soon I mean in about 5 years… haha! Joking! *Goes and cries in a corner because she’s not actually joking*.
Anyway, in case you haven’t figured out from the title of this post I am going to be talking about periods, and yes, by periods I mean the women’s menstrual cycle. And yes, it’s going to be kind of gross and might make some of you feel uncomfortable but it’s a way of life.
I always wonder how guys think about periods, I don’t know if that sounds weird but it probably just seems so weird and alien to them, it’s kind of unimaginable if you haven’t personally experienced it to think that five days, once a month for almost your entire life you have blood gushing out of your body. I know I thought it was pretty unrealistic when my Mum first told me about it when I was about 8-9. Then it actually happened and it wasn’t quite as dramatic as I thought it would be.
I always get really awkward and embarrassed thinking about my period and the thought that anyone might find out I was on my period. When I’m on my period I get really ill, and I mean really ill. Sometimes I spend the entire day screwed up in a ball on my bed, vomiting. It’s really not nice. Anyway… the next day or whenever if someone asks me how I’ve been I’ll say I was ill but in a kind of vague way and then I have to come up with really stupid lies if they ever try and push the illness any further because I don’t want it to get too embarrassing for me or for them. But the thing is, it’s just a way of life for all women and people should be more open to speak about it and it shouldn’t be awkward.
I have this fear that one day I’m going to get a boyfriend and have to cancel a date or something because I’m on my period and feeling really ill and he won’t understand and will be really annoyed and won’t understand how painful it really is to go through. He’ll think I’m just making a big deal out of something that isn’t a big deal. Obviously, if this did ever happen I would break up with him because he obviously wouldn’t be a very nice person to have as a boyfriend.
I was watching a YouTube video earlier and the person was talking about how when they were younger they couldn’t wait to start their period (before I continue, I just want you all to know that the video wasn’t only about periods) because they thought it would make them seem grown up and womanly. My old friend also had this exact experience and I remember her getting really annoyed whenever me or our other best friend were on our period because she felt like she was missing out or wasn’t properly a teenager or something yet and I was always telling her to embrace the time she had with no period because when it actually came she would be wishing it away instantly, of course my words didn’t change how she felt and eventually she got her period and I remember her texting me and saying “I am a woman. I am a real woman now.” and at first I was like “What the hell, why wasn’t she a real woman before and what’s changed?” and then I realised. Anyway, everyone feels and thinks differently about periods and everyone has different experiences when they’re actually on their period. Some people feel nothing at all, others get really ill and some are in the middle of those two.
As I’ve grown up, my experience with periods has changed slightly. The first few months of having it I felt little or no pain at all and never really understood what all the fuss was about, I think two years after I started I had surgery and ever since the surgery I’ve had other experiences with my period. Now when I’m on my period, but only sometimes, I will be really sick as explained above on the first day of my period and all the other days I’ll be completely fine. No pain at all.
Another experience I have is if I do feel pain but it’s not bad enough to sentence me to bed with a sick bowl then I have pains every day until it ends and the last experience I have, which I have been getting more recently is hormones. I have been getting so hormonal with my periods lately and honestly, it’s worse than the pain. My hormones start a few weeks before my period does and then end about a week after my period has ended. Having heightened hormones is literally the worst thing ever. You may have realised from reading other blog posts of mine that I am a very paranoid person and I have a lot of fears so when my hormones are heightened all of this is heightened too. I also get really paranoid about people dying in accidents or murders etc. and so when I’m feeling really hormonal these fears getting even worse and I get really stressed or really panicked if I don’t hear from someone I care about in a time that I consider to be too long. Something else that I think about a lot and that is worsened by my hormones is life, not in a depressive way but just in a curious, life-is-so-mind-blowing way and thinking about death and how crazy the concept of death is and how bizarre it is that one day I’ll move out and one day I’ll be forty. These thoughts always really stress me out at the best of times and to have them become even worse when I’m on my period makes it particularly hard to deal with.
I would say the worst thing that happens due to hormones has to be how reality is altered, I don’t know if others get this and I didn’t used to but for the past few periods, I’ve found that reality looks a bit funny for a while and it’s almost like I’m viewing the entire world through a glass window or I’m in a bubble and life kind of continues around me, not taking any notice that I’m there. It’s like I’m part of reality but I’m not properly at one with it, I don’t feel properly connected to the people around me and they laugh and talk and I try and interact but it’s always like I’m not quite connecting or interacting with them in the same way. This really gets to me because I’m so paranoid and when something scary like that happens, for a while it’s hard to realise that it’s because of your period and it’s because of your hormones and it’s not because something’s happened to you that’s made you become like this, almost like your brain’s been altered in some way and reality just doesn’t look the same anymore. I don’t know if this sounds completely insane but it happens, and then it goes away after my period does. But it’s honestly the worst experience in the world. Comment down below if you get this experience too (or don’t if you’re not comfortable with talking about it).
I guess what I’m trying to say with this post, although I know I went a little off topic, is that we should all be aware that this is what happens to women and we shouldn’t be afraid to talk about it, men shouldn’t want to not talk about it either because it’s just nature. Without periods the world would be way too over-populated with humans. And not in a good way. I think it’s really important that we take into consideration all the different effects having your period can have on people, I hate it when people always say that a woman is in a bad mood because it’s “that time of the month”, maybe it is, maybe it isn’t but the point is they say it like she just uses it as an excuse to be grumpy when actually it’s a miracle women continue on in the way they do when they’re on their period with everything that they go through. We don’t use it as an excuse and in fact it’s only men that say things like that anyway. I get really quite angry when I’m hormonal and I also get frustrated so easily, it’s like even the tiniest little thing makes me so frustrated I want to punch a wall and it’s really stressful to deal with and I can see how it affects my family as well and it makes me so sad when I can see I’m being horrible to them for no reason but I don’t really know how to stop it. The truth is I’m not even angry, inside I’m falling apart and I feel really lonely. But what you always have to remember is that everything you feel when you’re on your period is all an illusion and that it will get better very soon.
I hope you could relate to this post or found it insightful in some way – if you did please give it a like. Also, if you don’t already, please click the follow button as it would mean so much to me! Leave any comments you have about this post down below, I always love to read and respond to your thoughts!
That’s all for now!
Inspired Teen 🙂