Hey guys, so I know everyone seems to be publishing these posts today but I can’t let the year end without updating you all on how the year has gone. I think it’s really interesting how at first glance everyone seems to be writing the same thing but actually everyone’s post is completely different because everyone’s had completely different experiences of this year, some people are writing about their good experience of 2016 and some people of their bad experience of 2016 and I really like reading about people’s life experiences so this is a good time of year for me, from reading blog posts perspective, however earlier on when I was scrolling through my reader I became slightly overwhelmed by the number of people who have actually posted in the last couple of days, being the last day of the year and all that.
Before I actually get into the specifics of my year I would just like to quickly touch upon the fact that it really is the first day of the year, I know, completely obvious. When I was younger I never really cared about the new year because it didn’t really matter to me. It wasn’t obvious that there was a celebration to be had, in my head it was just a pointless post-Christmas celebration and as far as I was concerned there were no presents and therefore no cause for excitement, however, as I’ve got older Christmas has become less exciting and the new year more important. To me, now, it’s an opportunity to make the changes I’ve been too lazy to make throughout the year, it’s an opportunity to really get my act together and sort my life out and that’s more exciting to me than Christmas is. It’s like a new burst of enthusiasm, optimism and energy and I can foresee finally getting my act together, I feel like I’ve done a lot of that this year and plan on doing even more of that next year. I’m going to go into detail of all the things I feel like I’ve got better at later on in the post.
The idea that the year has ended is brining me many mixed emotions, as every year ending always does, but as I was saying above, the year ending is becoming more important to me. On the one hand I want to smile and jump around with happiness because the year’s over and I can put all the bad things from this year behind me, it’s a time for new beginnings etc. and I can really focus on the things that matter rather than bringing myself down with things that don’t matter, on the other hand I want to sob with sadness and heartbreak at the year being over. I have come so, so far this year and to think that’s it’s left us now is really upsetting to me. I know it’s just a few numbers created by humans to record time and whatnot but to me it matters, it’s a landmark in my history and this year is one that’s been really influential to me as a person – which I’m going to go into more detail about now.
If you read my 2016 Achievements post from the other day you might be familiar with a few of the topics I’m going to discuss with you now.
This year for the world as a whole hasn’t been a great one, we’ve had Donald Trump become President elect of the USA, we’ve voted Brexit, we’ve had many iconic figures die (although personally I don’t really see that as a down side to the year as everyone dies), we’ve had more terrorist attacks, the list is endless.
For the town where I live this year hasn’t been great either, especially in the last month or so we’ve had quite a few crimes and serious ones as well. More than I’m usually aware of happening in my town.
For me personally, this year has been a whirlwind of emotions and achievements/failures.
This was the year I turned 16, it was crazy and I had been waiting for it from the age of maybe 5-years-old, that’s 11 years I’ve waited for one day. It’s insane to think that, that moment came and went so quickly. It’s crazy to think that the year I’d anticipated for 11 years is over. I will always remember this year because it was the year I became a semi-adult. It was the year I finally felt like I could be myself,the year that I finally felt ‘complete’ in a way, the year I could finally be respected as an adult and all of that stuff.
This year I also decided to finally sort my future out, I realised that my future was going to happen whether I made plans for it or not and therefore it was probably best to make plans for it. So that’s what I did. I studied for my first ever proper GCSEs and passed with nothing below Cs and I was insanely proud of myself, as much as I hate to say I’m proud of myself, I was. I’ve always been someone who’s judged myself in a very negative light and believed I can’t do things even when there is evidence that I can, I don’t think that will ever change. So I’m always slightly surprised when I get good results or do something I didn’t think I was capable of. I’m not sure I will ever forget results day 2016. Although I had a results day last year for my English Language GCSE that I sat I didn’t even care, I literally was not fussed because I was sitting it two years early, I could re-sit it and as far as I was concerned it wasn’t going to have any effect on my life because I didn’t have a life plan anyway. Back then, as far as I was concerned I was going to walk dogs as a full-time career for the rest of my life. Now I want to be an actor. Funny how things change. Anyway, results day, it was such a long and painful wait for results day, I think my last exam was on June 09th, so whilst that gave me a long summer it was also lots of time to spend wondering about my results. I felt positive but at the same time felt I was being too positive, I became very scared that I’d messed them up and done worse than I thought, I was consumed by this need to know my results. I was constantly thinking over my exams papers wondering if I’d got my facts muddled up or if I could have gone into more detail about that specific subject. When the day rolled around I had to wait for the e-mail to come in from the school where I sat them, I remember waking up and playing Wii Fit and telling myself not to even think about it, my Mum woke up and came downstairs with my exam results, I opened the document and cried. Actually sobbed with happiness because I’d done it, I’d actually done it. I was probably crying with relief more than happiness. The wait and stress had been exhausting and I was so happy to have it off my chest. That was one of the highlights of the year.
Another one would be my change in personality. Not necessarily in personality, but my confidence I guess. At the start of the year I was dealing with lots of emotions going through my body, in a kind of normal, teenage hormonal kind of a way. I was becoming more independent. Old enough to be left at home on my own while my family went out all day etc. and this was all a new thing for me. Suddenly I was left with all this independence and responsibility and I didn’t really know what to do with it all. I was stressed when I was left at home on my own, I would worry about whether my family were okay on a constant basis, I would have these horrible visions of them being involved in car accidents or being attacked and they wouldn’t come home. And I would just be sat at home watching Netflix all innocently and then I’d imagine the police knocking on my door and telling me that whilst I was watching my 13th episode of Teen Wolf my family were lying murdered in a ditch somewhere. These thoughts and feelings were a lot to handle throughout the year, it became ridiculous and stressful for my whole family and made them worry when they weren’t with me. Made them feel obliged to contact me and keep me updated so I knew they were okay, I have managed to overcome that this year and I feel so much better for it. I feel like I can breathe slighter more now and I can relax when others aren’t in the house with me 24/7.
Another thing that’s happened this year, I got my braces. It sounds really silly but it’s made me more confident in who I am and made me able to smile without worrying about my teeth (except now I worry 24/7 whether I’ve got a massive piece of food stuck in them). When I first had them fitted in March I cried the next morning because I couldn’t even eat porridge because it hurt too much, I wish I hadn’t had them fitted and hated myself for the decision – I had no idea how I was going to get through a year and a half of it if I couldn’t even eat something as simple as porridge. Although the pain went away and then I could eat again. Now, although I still get a certain level of pain when I get my wires tightened etc. it’s worth it. I can see the effect it’s had on my teeth and I now believe it was totally worth it – I very almost have movie star perfect teeth. I only have four months of treatment left which means I’m very lucky because the treatment has worked faster than the orthodontist first thought.
I had my first job interview this year, which, although I didn’t get the job it was a really great experience and I’m really glad I’ve got the first interview out of the way because it now means I’ll be less nervous for all the other interviews I may have in the future. I also consider it an achievement that I had my first job interview two days before turning 16.
I also feel like throughout the year I have become more money aware and started handling my money better – I now no longer spend my money on pointless things I don’t really need unless I know I really want them. For example, yesterday I spent £7 on earrings but they were in the sale so I actually got about 13 pairs of earrings for that amount but then I also went shopping around and considered buying make-up and a calendar, however, with my new found skills I decided that it really wasn’t worth the money because I have a calendar on my phone and I’m not in need of any more make-up at the moment, better to just save the money for when I actually really want something (Like a Vamps t-shirt when I go to their gig in May!).
This has been a very long post – maybe even the longest post I’ve ever written, so I’m going to end it here. I’m sure there are a billion other things I could put on this list – I’m sorry if you couldn’t get to the end because it was so long; if you did get to the end thank you so much for reading this! Please give it a like if you enjoyed it! Join in the conversation by leaving a comment letting me know your ups and downs of 2016 – can you believe it’s really over?! Also, if you aren’t following me already you can do that free of charge and get all of my posts straight into your reader as soon as they’re published!
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Happy New Year!
Inspired Teen 🙂