I Almost Quit My GCSEs

Hey guys, guess who?!! So, I am finally back in the blogging universe! I know what you’re thinking; you’re thinking that it’s a total lie, that I’m teasing you and I’m going to publish this post and then not publish anything again for a couple of months… which… considering my track record over the last few months would be a reasonable conclusion! But… this time I truly am back – for a while at least. I have so many blog posts planned out, I have been storing them in the memo on my phone for the last couple of months my fingers just itching to finally type them out and publish them on my blog, but I’ve had so much going on and there simply hasn’t been time. One of two things would have happened if I had continued blogging over the last two months:

1) I would have spent too much time blogging and not enough time studying and revising for my GCSEs and ultimately would have ended up with bad results (but it hasn’t been results day yet so let’s not get too confident!)

2) I would have found a way to do both revision and blogging but my revision would be less effective and I wouldn’t do as much which could result in worse grades and the quality of my blog posts would pay the price because I would be blogging quickly and not spending time to actually get my thoughts and points across and, I would speed edit and speed tag and everything would just be worse.

So, for those two reasons I had to take a break and I have been really sad because I’ve had so much that I’ve wanted to blog about; but it’s okay because today I sat my last GCSE! I am officially free from compulsory education! I’m no longer home-educated… which is really weird and quite sad… but it does mean that I can finally blog again! Be prepared for lots of exciting blog posts over the next few weeks!

Anyway… I guess that was kind of the intro? Quite a long one but we’ll go with it.

Firstly, I would just like to say this isn’t clickbait to those of you who might be thinking that. The title is actually true and I will expand and explain soon. Secondly, this post is going to be a general overview of my experience studying and sitting my GCSEs which might interest some of you or it might just be a chilling feeling of deja vu – in which case feel free to stop reading now.

Okay… where to even start. I guess the first thing would be to quickly tell you my subject choices. So, this year I did maths, economics, chemistry, human biology and English literature. Last year I did three GCSEs and the year before that I did one. So that’s what I was working with and boy do I have some dramatic stories to tell!

My first exams were human biology (10th and 12th of May), I thought they would be really easy and that I would enjoy studying the textbook because I found the subject quite interesting and it was very relevant to me because it was about how bodies  – including mine – worked, there were elements of it that I found really interesting and wish I had been able to learn more about (such as inheritance and genes) and there were elements that I really, really hated and wished I didn’t have to learn at all (such as digestion and diets). So I thought it was going to be easy, despite the fact that the textbook was relatively big and had more material to learn than I had ever had to learn before in my life, including all the complicated scientific terms and names for things and what they did (such as mitosis, osmosis, homeostasis blah blah blah) but I found it quite enjoyable and at first I actually did have fun learning it! Then, it got to about a week before my exam and I did my first past paper – I know what you’re thinking, I should have done one way sooner right?! Well, no. I’m the kind of person that leaves it until the last minute and then gets really stressed about it. Anyway, I did my first past paper and I think I got a D grade. This really upset me because I had put so much work in and had studied really hard and I thought I’d understood it really well and I think my mark was 90/120 or something along those lines and I just couldn’t understand how 90 marks could be a D, so I studied really, really hard and then did a second past paper – this time my grade was an F. Which just made the whole situation worse. I studied some more, did a third paper, a D. This was the Saturday before my first paper… I was an absolute mess. I was honestly, at that moment, at the lowest point mentally I had ever been. And physically maybe. I was so tired and upset and stressed and I felt sick to my stomach every waking second, I felt like I could cry at any given moment, I was cold constantly (I blame that on the anxiety and the tiredness), I could not fathom why I was doing so badly even though I had studied so hard and had pretty much memorised most of the textbook… the Sunday then rolled around, by this point I hadn’t showered in maybe three-four days, I hadn’t changed my clothes in just as long… I was a wreck. But then I discovered something that changed my life around! I discovered that unlike with previous exams I had sat myself and previous past papers I had marked myself, instead of marking the exam papers separately and then adding them together for an overall grade, this paper was marked by adding both of the exam papers together first to find out your final grade – so you didn’t get graded on the papers individually. I found this out through looking at the grade scheme and discovering that full marks for the subject were 180 even though paper one only had 120 marks available. It was then that I realised, honestly I could have sobbed there and then because it turned out I was actually getting Bs, not Ds and Fs. It was quite possibly one of the happiest days of my life. So, that’s my story with human biology. Oh, and I sat the papers and they went okay, well enough but not as well as I had performed in past papers I don’t feel.

Moving on… so, the next exam I had was chemistry (18th May). This was definitely not my strong point. I hate chemistry, more than I ever thought I would. The main issue was that I didn’t have time to learn or revise it – the issue with my human biology resulted in a major set-back in the revision of all other subjects. I was less inclined to study chemistry in the first place because it was the subject that mattered the least in terms of my future education – maths and English literature I had to do well in and I enjoyed economics so I was naturally more inclined to study that. Because of all of these things, chemistry was ignored a little bit. Which resulted in me being really stressed when it came to the actual exams. To be honest, I definitely could have put more effort into it but, particularly in the last few days once all my other exams were over and I simply had chemistry left to sit, my motivation was in minus figures. It was awful in the sense that I knew I should be working and I wanted to work, in fact I did work just when I sat down at my desk and read the textbook it was literally going in through my eyes and straight out of the top of my head. I was failing to retain any information at all. I’ve successfully sat both my chemistry papers but I’m not holding out much hope.

Now onto the part where I almost quit. First, I would like to quickly add a disclaimer to say that I am in no way trying to portray my GCSE experience as a worse experience than anyone else, and I’m surely not going to be playing the whole “I’m home-educated so it’s harder for me!” act in an effort to make you feel sorry for me. Because I don’t think it was necessarily harder for me and I definitely don’t think my GCSE experience was as bad as other people’s, in fact I know it wasn’t. I am simply telling you the experience I, as an individual, had in my own circumstances. Anyway, so, it was Saturday the 20th May – by this point I was almost halfway through my GCSEs and I hadn’t socialised with anyone outside of my household in weeks because I was too busy revising (or procrastinating but with every intention to start revising) and I had a maths exam coming up… Now… if you had told me at the time that I was actually going to end up hating chemistry more than maths I think I would have cried with laughter for about three hours, anyway, I had two English literature papers coming up that week and slap bang in the middle of both of them I had my maths exam, this made me insanely stressed because I had to make the decision of either: entirely ignoring revision for both English papers and just pray that my English abilities were good enough and that my knowledge of the books when I’d studied them was good enough to wing it; or, I had to decide to avoid revising maths in the hopes that I would get a really good English literature grade and I would just have to live with the fact that I had failed my maths and re-sit it (something which made me feel so stressed and sick); or I would have to find a way of juggling them both over one weekend in the hopes that I would get good grades in both of them… as a result of this really stressful decision and the ever-shortening time I had left to revise the material, I had a cry – a long, long cry which I think lasted about 2 hours… it was awful and embarrassing and despite the fact that I was really upset the only thing I found myself thinking was how much time I was wasting through being upset. That every second counted and I needed to get my act together and do some work rather than sitting there crying. Eventually my Mum heard me crying and came in and told me to come downstairs and we sat on the sofa and she gave me a hug and I was sobbing and I told her I didn’t have enough time, that I felt I was going to fail all of my GCSEs, that I was so stressed and so tired and I just didn’t want to do it anymore and my Mum, being the amazing person she is simply said that I could stop. That I could decide not to do the rest and whilst it wouldn’t be ideal it wasn’t the end of the world. And in that moment, I genuinely, truly considered giving up. I was so close to saying I quit, that I couldn’t do it. That I hadn’t prepared enough, that I wasn’t ready, that I was an idiot but that I didn’t want to sit them if I was going to fail them all. I felt truly awful and despite what I said earlier about that weekend before my human biology exam this was honestly the lowest I have ever been. Never in my life have I felt so done, so completely exhausted that I felt I just couldn’t go on with the situation. That I just simply could not see a way of getting through these GCSEs and maintaining my physical and mental health. The genuine desire to give up at that moment terrified me. I have never felt so helpess like that, so tired and stressed that I would do anything to make it end. I don’t know how I got over the feeling and decided to continue with my GCSEs, but I did and I have come out of the other end and I’m feeling positive about all of my subjects except for chemistry (I’m even feeling optimistic about my maths! And if you knew me really well you would know that, that is an absolute miracle!).

Okay, I’m going to end this post here because I feel like it has been very long! I really hope you got something out of this post or that you enjoyed it in some respect, if you did please make sure to give it a like! If you’re new around here and you like what you see then please feel free to follow me! Let me know in the comments what your experience with sitting your GCSEs was – whether you sat them this year or in the past. If you sat them in the past I would be interested to know how you did in terms of grades compared to how you thought you had done!

If you want to contact me, you can reach me using my e-mail – aninspiredteen@gmail.com

That’s all for now!

Inspired Teen 🙂

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A Long Absence = Life Update

Hey guys, so, I have some explaining to do… you may have noticed that my blog posts have been wildly irregular at the moment, that’s for many reasons. I feel like I owe it to you to explain myself.

I feel like I keep this blog pretty open and impersonal in a way, that’s not necessarily a conscious decision but rather due to the fact that the posts I write don’t often reveal very much about me. I guess it’s kind of nice to be putting something out there on the big wide web and still feel slightly anonymous.

Anyway, because my blog is kind of open and impersonal I like it when I get to give you life updates, I’m not sure if it’s anything anyone’s particularly interested in but I guess I feel like through telling you what’s happening in my life I can in some ways justify my absence, I know it doesn’t need to be justified but as humans we feel guilty for things that we don’t do and because of that we try and find ways of making ourselves feel better about it by thinking of all the reasons why it hasn’t happened.

So, let’s begin!

Firstly – and I am sure this is something everyone can relate to – I have been drowning in the amount of studying I have to do, I know there’s a saying that’s ‘up to my neck’ but I felt like that wasn’t even close to being the truth, I am so out of my depth it’s scaring me a little bit, but I’m sure everyone feels like that. It’s the most bizarre feeling because a month ago or maybe even as recent as a couple of weeks ago every morning I would wake up and literally feel sick with stress, no lie, and every day would be hard to get through because I would sit at my desk and I would just work for ten hours every single day in the hopes that I could begin to get through the insane amount of work I had to do – luckily, those intense ten hour study sessions actually paid off and I am now drowning slightly less in work and all of the stress has just disappeared, it’s like suddenly I can breathe again but I don’t understand the transition from suffocating in stress to now feeling completely calm, but it’s a great feeling other than the fact that now I’m not stressed I’m slightly less motivated. But anyway, I know most teenage bloggers are going through exam stress and are putting off their blogs in favour of studying so you all completely understand and I am in no way saying I am in a worse situation and I think those of you managing to maintain a blog through all of this stress are absolutely amazing and incredible people – honestly I think you should be given a reward for all your hard work! But I just haven’t quite worked out how to manage my time in a way that caters for both studying, blogging, other commitments etc.

What else has been going on… I’m so busy I can’t even remember. I had a wonderful trip up into London a couple of weeks back and that was really nice, I went to visit my best friend whom I hadn’t seen since November and it was really nice to catch up with her! It had been long overdue and I did double studying the week before specifically so I wouldn’t ‘miss’ any studying while I was there and it was so nice to be able to just relax for a few days and be there with my friend and just feel like a member of society again rather than the introverted nerdy student that I’ve become over the last few months, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, I would rather be indoors studying for a couple of months than failing my exams. We went on a lovely picnic in Regent’s Park and took lots of photos both of the park and of us together, the sun was shining, we did a bit of writing, we got to catch up, it was one of the best days I’ve ever had with her! Oh, and then we got lost on Baker Street (apparently that street goes on FOREVER!) but it was a truly amazing trip and one I wouldn’t change for the world. Although, I did get a migraine after coming back from Regent’s Park through being in the sun for too long… and maybe having a photoshoot which featured me lying in the grass and looking up at the sky, I would not recommend and that did prevent us from watching all the films we had planned to watch but it doesn’t really matter, there’s a time and place for everything. I was going to blog on this trip to London because not only were my friend and I using it as an opportunity to see each other but we were also going to use it as an excuse to just do the things we don’t normally get the time to do because we’re too busy with life, for example, reading, blogging, writing etc. etc.

Also, my cat died, which you probably really didn’t want or need to know and has probably just made this post quite depressing but yeah, I loved him to the moon and back and he was a wonderful cat. He was beautiful and you’d always wake up in the morning and go downstairs to see him sleeping on the sofa or an armchair curled up into this cute little ball of fluff and it was the most adorable thing! But he was old and we knew it was going to happen eventually – it was unexpected that he was going to die at that moment but he had been getting visibly older and less capable, but it just kind of added to everything else and it’s not really a reason why I haven’t been blogging because despite being upset, when he died it didn’t feel like an overwhelming loss or like a huge hole had been created in my life that could never be filled, it was devastating but it wasn’t like if a family member (or even my other cat who behaves like a dog, calls for me, cuddles with me all the time and whom I adore more than anything else in the entire universe) died so I wasn’t like in floods of tears for days unable to concentrate but this is a life update as well as being a post for me to explain all the reasons why I haven’t blogged.

Okay, another reason why I haven’t been blogging as much is because since last November I have been working on a fanfiction series – I am currently planning on it being 4 books long; which was completely unexpected but given the current state of the series 4 seems like a good number to get all the storylines completed in. Obviously I love to blog, it’s something I have a passion for but I also have a passion for fiction writing. I just love to write and I get different things out of both experiences. I like the feeling of being part of something that you get when you’re blogging, I like how on WordPress it’s like a community of people all sharing stories and opinions and interests etc. and there are just certain things I’m passionate about that I want to write about and I can’t really discretely put into a fictional story. But I also like the ability to escape that I get from writing fiction, maybe ‘escape’ isn’t quite the right word because I don’t feel like I need to ‘escape’ from my life but I guess it’s kind of a way to experience things that you don’t normally get to experience or to just create a world that can be however you want it to be; you can control the level of good and bad; the level of nice and horrible; the level of love and hatred and so on, you can put words in other people’s mouths and develop relationships and I enjoy it a crazy amount and have been getting really excited about my fanfiction series, maybe I’ll upload it onto Wattpad, maybe I won’t. I’m not sure. I’m going to finish all four books first. Anyway, I don’t really want it to sound like I’m prioritising fanfiction writing over blog writing but unfortunately it’s not exactly a choice, you see, the thing is, when I write fiction I think about it almost constantly and I am always thinking about what’s going to happen next or certain things people can say to others or a particular ‘moment’ that I want to happen, a cliff-hanger, a certain new character etc. and sometimes I get these really vivid images of a ‘scene’ I want to include and I know how I want it to read word for word and so I have to get my laptop and I have to write that scene whether I would rather be writing a blog post, watching TV or reading a book because if I don’t write that scene out there and then unfortunately the scene will be gone, and whilst, of course, I can write down a small memo saying I want to have a ‘marriage proposal scene’ or a ‘dramatic break-up scene’ or an ’emotional death scene’ I still don’t have the word for word details and – without trying to sound really full of myself because I’m really not – my first draft is usually actually the best draft, I mean everything needs a bit of editing after it’s finished but for some reason the way I write just comes out exactly the way I want it to first time, I do reword things sometimes or add things in that I didn’t think to add in the first time around and of course correct spelling errors but usually the way I’ve written it first is always the best so if I don’t get the words in my head down on my laptop then they all disappear and I can never recreate the word document on paper as good as it was in my head, if that makes sense.

I would just like to put it out there that I have been doing ‘blog’ things despite not being noticeably active on WordPress, I haven’t completely been ignoring my blog although it might seem like that. I have a number of drafts waiting to be reviewed and edited and in fact finished but the problem is, I am so busy that when I do have some free time it’s usually late at night when I’m exhausted from whatever I’ve had going on in the day, I’m half asleep and what I really want to be doing is drinking a hot chocolate and watching TV and the few times that I’ve tried to write a blog post instead in those circumstances they just don’t sound right, it sounds like I’m forcing the blog post and I’m not fully connecting to the content – probably because I’m half asleep – also, often I know the point I’m trying to make and what I want the blog post to say but I struggle to actually come to the conclusion and write it in a way that sounds good, basically I need to not be blogging when really I should be sleeping but I do plan on reviewing those blog posts over the next few evenings hopefully and finishing them, editing them and then getting them published.

Lastly, before I go I would like to quickly mention that I have been attempting to be much more active on my social media sites so you can go and follow me on them (links down below). I have specifically been paying attention to my Instagram recently firstly because I took lots of beautiful photos in Regent’s Park in London when I went to visit my friend and also because at the moment Instagram is my favourite social media site, I just love how so much can be conveyed in a photo and how loads of people are using this app and sharing photos of either pretty things they’ve found in their day-to-day lives or more professional type photos or even pictures of themselves and what they’ve been doing with their day, I just think it’s such a nice idea and personally I’ve been becoming slightly disconnected with twitter recently but I want to try and get back into it soon. Make sure you’re following me on both of the social media sites just mentioned so you can keep up-to-date with what I’ve been doing even when I’m not actively publishing new posts on WordPress.

I really hope you enjoyed this post, make sure to give it a like if you did! You can follow me if you aren’t already to see any new posts as soon as they’re published! Also, feel free to leave any comments letting me know what you’ve been busy doing and how you’re coping with all the exam work/revision you’ve got going on at the moment – I would love any tips and tricks you might have on effective study sessions!

If you want to get in touch you can do so using my e-mail – aninspiredteen@gmail.com

That’s all for now!

Inspired Teen 🙂

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My First Time Tag

Hey guys, does anybody else experience that moment when you feel like you wrote a blog post a few days ago and then you go on your blog and realise that actually it’s been way longer than you originally thought? Yeah? Well that’s me right now. I am so sorry for neglecting this blog, basically exams have been catching up with me and I had a moment last week when I was just like, ‘I need to take a break. I’m not a robot, I’m human. I can’t just keep going like this.’ and so I took a break, other than that I’ve just been busy with work and commitments and activities, so I’m sorry. I also realised that there hasn’t been a singe day this year when I haven’t been stressed and that made me really sad…

Anyway! I have decided to do a tag that was quite popular on YouTube for a while and then I think everyone kind of did it and since then it hasn’t really been a thing, I’m a bit late to the party but thought it would be fun to give it a go!

Quickly, before we get into the post I would just like to say that this isn’t a tag where I tell you all about my personal love life or anything, I mean come on! Who do you think I am?!  This is a tag where I tell you about my first time doing particular things, whether that’s my first exam, holiday etc. either way, it’s nothing to do with sex.

So, let’s get into it!

My First Time Going To A Concert – Now this is a great story, so… my first real concert – I say real like that because I’d been to concerts with my Mum but this was my concert – was a One Direction concert, I know, I’m a legend! It was when they were touring their album ‘Take Me Home’, it was such an amazing night! I couldn’t stop talking about it for hours! It had been a bit of a day though, there were a few complications which I won’t get into about whether my friend was actually allowed to attend the concert with me because her parents weren’t sure if they wanted us going in on our own, but it all worked out and it was amazing! Surprisingly, I didn’t actually cry! The audience were amazing, One Direction were amazing, the experience was just incredible and I am so glad that it was the first ever gig I’d been to, I think of it with fond memories!

My First Time Crushing On A Celebrity – Haha… So… I was about nine-years-old I think, maybe ten. My Mum had finally let me watch High School Musical and I mean, come on, Zac Efron in the High School Musical days, you can understand why right? I mean, I was ten. But I was absolutely obsessed with those films. I remember watching the second one first, the third one second and the first one last but I was addicted, I would watch them all the time and I knew all the words. I even had a High School Musical karoke game on my Nintendo Wii! I’m also pretty sure I had a DVD which taught me the dance routine to ‘We’re All In This Together’ from the end of the first film. I don’t exactly know when I realised I had a crush on him, I think it just kind of happened and I was really young and didn’t really understand anything back then haha! I’ve moved on now though…

My First Time Swimming In The Sea – I don’t know why I decided to include this but I know that a lot of people think swimming in the sea is sacred or something, I hated it. I was visiting my friend and we’d come from another activity but we went down to the beach and it was a lovely sunny day, we were all lying around on the beach, my friend and our families because I was quite young, in fact we might have come from the swimming pool… but then suddenly loads of my friends and family decided they were going to go swimming in the sea and I’d never done it before so I thought ‘why not?’, so I went and got changed into my swimming suit and went swimming in the sea, by swimming in the sea I actually mean, I didn’t go very far out because I was too scared of drowning so I stayed very close to the shore and my feet kept hitting the stones at the bottom and it was really hurting my toes and I kept getting salt water in my mouth and basically I absolutely hated it.

My First Time Performing On A Stage – So, there are two different stories for this. My first time performing on a stage ‘technically’ was when I was on holiday and I was camping and there was like a children’s ‘competition’, it wasn’t actually a competition but it was just an opportunity to showcase a young person’s talents and skills or something. But I sang a song on stage, with proper lights and a proper microphone and it was scary but I got through it and I really liked it! That was my singing career over. Then about a year later, I was on a theatre stage at my local theatre and it was my first ever drama performance and I had the lead part and it was terrifying because I’d never done anything like that before and I had a massive three page monologue to remember and it was just really scary but I absolutely loved it! It was so much fun! That kind of started my aspiration to be an actor really.

My First Time Buying Make-up – Some of you might think this is a bit of a stupid one for me to include but I thought I’d add it anyway, for a lot of people they’re not all that fussed about make-up, they’re parents don’t really have an opinion on it, sometimes they might wear it sometimes they might not. When I was growing up I was surrounded by all these TV shows that were advertising ‘pretty women’ and lots of make-up to me, this was the ‘ideal’, of course I was also surrounded by family games and trips to the park etc. I wasn’t an introverted child that sat indoors watching Hannah Montana but when I did watch TV that is what it would be, evidently as a young girl she was who I aspired to me. I wrote in a diary somewhere once that when I grew up I either wanted to work with dogs or be Hannah Montana. So my first make-up buying experience was one step closer to my dream career of being Hannah Montana! However I wasn’t actually allowed to wear the make-up I bought, I sneakily bought it on a day out with my grandparents when my Mum wasn’t with us in the hopes that she would then be guilt-tripped into letting me keep it and use it. It didn’t really work, I did get to keep it and I’m not sure how much of it I actually got to use but it was like ‘toy’ make-up, I bought it from Smith’s the toy store, I mean, it came from a toy store you can imagine how bad it was, but that was my first make-up buying experience. I have a much better collection now, don’t worry!

My First Time Properly Walking In A Pair Of Heels – This happened really recently I’m not going to lie, I actually think I might have spoken about this somewhere in a blog post before but this is ‘The First Time’ tag so I’m going to repeat myself. My first time walking in heels was last October. I had bought a brand new pair of high heels (in black) for a performance that I was going to be in later on in the month, I think I had about five days before the show and I’d never worn a pair of heels in my life! So, being the clever person that I am I bought them in my town after work and then I got the bus halfway home and decided to walk the other half, it was a nice sunny day despite being October and I was feeling in a good mood, I got about ten steps before realising that it had been a really terrible idea because I wasn’t only walking home in a pair of heels for the first time ever I was also walking home carrying a shoe box with the shoes I’d previously had on my feet and a bag of hay for my rabbit as well as my handbag and anything else I happened to be carrying, so I had my hands full and I was wobblying all over the place, I could actually see people laughing in their cars as they drove past. It was not a great experience, and then I had a show a few days later with these massive blisters on my feet but I still love the shoes to this day and wore them out for dinner a couple of months ago.

My First Time Owning A Laptop – This was a great moment for me! I can’t remember what made me decide that I wanted a laptop, maybe I thought it was cool or I had an actual reason, I’m not sure. I was ten when I got my first laptop, it was kind of checked pink with some flashes of yellow and purple, it was an absolutely beautiful laptop and I cherished it and loved it so much! It was pretty much my life and I have used a laptop non-stop ever since that day – almost seven years. There pretty much isn’t a single day that passes when I’m not using my laptop either for writing, reading, messaging my best friend, watching YouTube or Netflix; quite frankly I don’t know what I’d do without one now. I still own my first ever laptop actually, it’s sitting on my desk, it doesn’t work though (it did last five years though so we can let it off), it’s the smallest laptop you’ve ever seen in your life, it’s so adorable! If anyone saw it nowadays they’d think it was a child’s toy but it wasn’t, it was a legit laptop. It was a great first laptop and I will always think of it with fond memories but I’m now in love with my new laptop, it’s like my second life.

My First Time Breaking A Bone –Haha! I’m going to tell you an embarrassing story, something that I find embarrassing now and that I found embarrassing at the time. I must have been between the ages of 9-11 when this happened, basically, I broke my wrist. It wasn’t bad or anything, I was coming home from the shops with my brother and sister and my Dad. My sister decided to randomly chase me, as you do at a young age and it was all fun and games, I decided to be clever and run backwards to try and outrun her whilst running backwards, however, this didn’t go according to plan and I ended up tripping and I was going to fall right on my back and so instinctively my body tried to twist around so I could use my palms to stop me from falling, however I was falling faster than I could twist and so I ended up landing on my wrist – I didn’t know it at the time but it was broken. My Mum was at work and when she got home I told her what happened, she tried to test whether I had any strength in it before telling me to sleep on it and we’d see how it was in the morning and go from there. The next day when my mum woke up I was sitting at the table eating my breakfast with the spoon in my right hand – I’m left-handed – my mum asked me why I wasn’t eating with my left-hand and so like an idiot I told her that I just felt like it on that specific day, she asked me if it hurt too much to eat with my left-hand and I told her no it didn’t, so she asked me to eat with my left-hand. I put the spoon in my left-hand and although I could physically grip the spoon I couldn’t really do anything else with it, I remember trying to put the cereal in my mouth but my arm was too weak and shaky to actually get it there and cereal was spilling off the spoon all over the place, at the time I was really upset because I knew it was going to involve a trip to the hospital but looking back on it now it always makes me laugh. So yeah, I had to have a cast for three months I think and every single time I saw a doctor or nurse at the hospital that day I had to explain that I had broken it running backwards, which was really embarrassing.

My First Time Going To A Sleepover – I think I was relatively old when I had my first sleepover, I must have been about 11. I was so excited and happy that I was getting to stay round my friend’s house overnight – I thought this would instantly move me into the ‘cool person’ category, that once I had my first sleepover I may as well be Regina George minus the meanness. Except at this time I hadn’t even seen Mean Girls. But anyway, I’m pretty sure it was my friend’s birthday party and she was having loads of people but only two of us were staying the night. So she had her party – I wore this beautiful sparkly pink dress from either H&M or BHS, I loved it so much and in fact still own it! She was having some kind of ‘princess’ party or something (really funny if you could see her now) and her parents had hired these make-up artists/hairdressers/party people and they curled my hair and gave me gel eyeliner. It was a great first sleepover.

I’m going to end this post here as it is much longer than originally intend but I enjoyed it so much! I didn’t realise quite how much I was going to enjoy it until I started writing it! I would really love to do a part 2 as I’m liking this ‘get to know me’ aspect of the blog, if you have anything you’d like to know ‘my first time’ experiencing do let me know in the comments and I’ll make another post!

If you enjoyed this post please make sure to give it a like, leave your comments down below – maybe even share your first time experiencing some of the things I’ve talked about, I’d love to read them  – if you don’t follow me already make sure to go and do that to read all of my new posts as soon as they’re published!

If you would like to get in touch you can do so using my e-mail – aninspiredteen@gmail.com

That’s all for now!

Inspired Teen 🙂

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My Biggest Life Lesson

Hey guys, the other day I was sitting on the sofa and it was one of those moments when you just sit there and reflect on everything that’s happened recently, whether that be in the last week or the last month – or even in the last couple of months – anyway, I was sat there and I was thinking about my exams and the future and where I hope to be at the end of the year and everything I hope to have achieved and then I was reminded of this life lesson that my Mum taught me recently. And I remember her teaching me this, I’m not even sure she meant for it to become quite as important to me as it is now, I think it was just the way she worded her thoughts but they stuck with me and that talk became the biggest life lesson I have ever had.

I decided to share that life lesson with you guys because it really helped me handle my stress and helped me come to terms with how much work I had to do and how little time.

My Mum taught me this life lesson when I was getting stressed about GCSEs and I was panicking about the subjects that I don’t enjoy and I was saying that I no longer had enough time to revise, I didn’t think, that I’d been too lazy over the last few months, too laid back and I hadn’t done any work and now I’ve destroyed my life, I won’t get into sixth form or college, I won’t go to uni and I’ll spend the rest of my life cleaning toilets or something, as you can tell, completely dramatic and over-the-top but stress can really get to you sometimes. Anyway, my Mum, in response to this, said completely matter of fact, “There’s no point getting stressed, you are in the situation you are in now, so you just have to get on with it.” This was the thing that taught me such a big lesson and really made me open my eyes, she was completely right and whenever I get stressed and feel like I’m going towards that manic panicky feeling I always think of what she said and am reminded that there is no point stressing about what I should have done three months ago, at the end of the day I can’t change what I was doing three months ago I can only change my attitude and behaviour now. I can’t change the past and I never will be able to.

I wish I could have learnt this life lesson last year when I was preparing for my GCSEs and getting really, really stressed, it just so happened that I was okay anyway but I really needed that life lesson this year as I am much more stressed than I was last year. Hell, last year I didn’t even start revising until April when my exams were in May. This year it’s only January and I’m getting incredibly stressed, thankfully that life lesson has really calmed me a lot. I know that I will use this life lesson for at least the rest of my time as a student if not longer because exams will always be stressful, I can’t comment on what might be stressful after my time as a student but I do know that for as long as I’m at sixth form and uni I will be thinking back to these words.

Maybe this life lesson isn’t as helpful to others as it is to me and let’s face it, my Mum probably worded it in a way that she knew would have the greatest impact on me because she knows me. But that one sentence has really given me the opportunity to handle my stress in a way I never thought I would be able to do, yes, I still get very stressed and sometimes it feels like it’s almost suffocating me but at the same time I think back to those words and know that nothing can be changed. That the only thing that can be done now is for me to suck it up and get the work done. The only way for me to not fail my GCSEs as I fear so heavily that I will is to remember those words, grab my textbooks and work my ass off until it’s done.

I am so grateful to my Mum for teaching me this life lesson, whether it was intentional or not and I really hope that you can learn from that life lesson too and that it helps you in some way. With exams coming much too quickly I’m sure you all need as much motivation and support as you can get! I know I do. Do let me know in the comments what’s been the biggest life lesson you’ve ever learnt and who taught you it.

If you enjoyed this post please give it a like and follow me if you aren’t already to be able to read all my future posts as soon as they’re published!

If you want to get in touch you can do so using my e-mail – aninspiredteen@gmail.com

That’s all for now!

Inspired Teen 🙂

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Quotes I Live By!

Hey guys, it’s been awhile. And by a while I mean like a week… but after doing Blogmas it feels really weird to suddenly not be blogging everyday, but more important things take priority – as important as my blog is and as much as I would like to dedicate way more time to getting it absolutely perfect and to writing more posts, I can’t, it’s just not possible with the amount of work I have to do for exams. Yesterday I found out the date for one of my exams – it’s on the 10th May and I am slightly freaking out with stress, it’s illogical stress but it’s there all the same.

Anyway, this morning when I was lying in bed after waking up from a mildly relaxing sleep even though I’m insanely stressed, I was lying there being stressed and I was wondering how on earth I was every going to get the amount of work I need to get done, done, I thought it just wasn’t possible. However, then I looked beside me and hanging off some fairy lights on my wall were three quotes that I randomly found one day on the internet and thought were motivational and so I jotted them down all nicely and hung them beside my bed, little did I know that they would end up being the things that got me through all of my studying for years to come. It’s insane but they truly do, so I thought I would share these quotes with you now in the hopes that they could inspire you to get your act together and really smash 2017 – in whatever way you hope to 🙂

You Don’t Get What You Wish For, You Get What You Work For – So, whilst the other two quotes are also very motivational and hold meanings that inspire me and make me feel better, I think this quote is by far my favourite and the one that really makes me pull myself together and work hard. Maybe it’s because I decorated the background of the quote in pink and pink is my favourite colour – but that is besides the point. The reason this quote holds so much meaning to me is that I am quite often wishing for good things to happen, or hoping that I get good grades or I get the lead role in the play my youth theatre are doing. However, sometimes I don’t consider that to get these things I need to work for them. People don’t just get their GCSEs handed to them on a plate, yes, some people find exams easier than others and some people are more advantaged than others, I think I’m unfairly advantaged in some exams because I can read and write really, really fast. And I mean, really fast. I consider this to be unfair to other people, but what can I do? Anyway, last year, when I was working towards my first ever GCSEs I was getting really stressed, I was putting so much pressure on myself, I couldn’t imagine how I was ever going to get the work done and pass those exams but somehow, I did, and I honestly believe that in some way – even subconsciously, it was these quotes that helped me through it. This quote made me realise that it didn’t matter how many hours I spent sitting around wishing for good grades, imagining how I would feel on results day when I got my results and they were good grades, if I wanted my fantasy to come true I had to work to make it come true, because it wasn’t just going to come true by itself. Life does not work like that.

There is no success without sacrifice – This is the quote that I turn to when I feel really sad and upset that I have no social life, or any kind of life really, when I’ve been sitting at my desk staring at a textbook for 6 hours I always glance over at this quote and it gives me the extra boost I need to keep going with my studying. It helps me to realise that I have two chooses, I can sacrifice my studying to laze around watching another episode on Netflix, or I can sacrifice Netflix and any other pass-time and actually study. When I think about it this quote makes me realise that there really is no success without sacrifice, and I want to be successful in life. Therefore, for the time being I have to sacrifice my free time and all the things I would rather be doing and study, but in August, when I get my results, everything will be worth it – the nine hour study days will be worth it, the lack of entertainment will be worth it, my stress will be worth it, everything will be completely worth it. The sacrifices I make now will lead me to the success I hope to have, if I work hard I will get into the school of my choice, I will go onto the university of my choice (haha, jokes, as if) and then I will have the career I want (definitely not going to happen, but I will continue to be optimistic) but all of this will involve an insane amount of hard-work on my part and a lot of misery and stress, but when I’m on the top of this mountain I will be able to look down and know that I made the right decision. That all of my sacrifices were worth it.

If you don’t try, nothing will ever happen – This is the quote that gets me through the harder subjects I have to study, I know this is very much a post related to studying but at this current moment in my life these quotes mean something to me by way of studying, as I get older and my life changes maybe the quotes meanings to me will change too but as of this moment they help in terms of exams. I don’t want to brag or show off or anything, but being home-educated I’ve never really had to study a subject that I don’t enjoy, I’ve never had to waste my time on something that I’m not interested in, if I’ve gone to an activity and not enjoyed it then I left. If my Mum tried to teach me a subject I wasn’t interested in and didn’t learn anything from listening to her try and teach me, we stopped learning it, but as I’ve got older my choices have disappeared slightly. When I got to the age of taking GCSEs I had to make the decision of what ones I wanted to take and I did a lot of research, like a lot, and properly considered what subjects I wanted to do. However, there were certain subjects that I had no choice but to take – maths being an example, I hate maths more than anything but it’s pretty much one of the only exams I absolutely have to do. The other one being chemistry, whilst I don’t need to take chemistry, I decided to take chemistry and have now said on sixth form applications that I am, it will look pretty bad to drop it now. Anyway, when thinking about these subjects which by definition stress me out the most because I don’t enjoy them and consider them to be impossible I look at this quote and realise that no matter how impossible I consider them to be, if I don’t try, nothing will ever happen. If I do not at least try to learn the chemistry or the maths then I will just be throwing those GCSEs out of the window, and I can’t afford to do that. At the end of the day, I have to try, if all else fails then I know at least I tried my very hardest. If something good comes out of it then, something good has come out of it. But nothing is ever going to happen in terms of those subjects if I don’t just pick up those textbooks and get on with it.

Okay, I feel like this has concluded my post – I really hope you could connect to it and it motivated you in some way, do consider leaving these quotes somewhere noticeable in your house or bedroom because you have no idea how much more positive and motivated it will make you, or select your own quotes that you believe will help motivate you. I also hoped you liked the photos which I took, I don’t very often put photos into my blog posts so this was a new thing for me. I hoped you liked it.

If you enjoyed this post please give it a like! It would mean so much to me! If you have any good and motivational quotes please leave them in the comments below – I need all the motivation I can get! And if you aren’t already, you can follow me – I am aiming to publish at least one post a week if not two!

If you wish to get in touch then you can do so using my e-mail – aninspiredteen@gmail.com

That’s all for now!

Inspired Teen 🙂

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2017 Bucket List

Hey guys! I feel fully settled into the new year and it’s only day 4. Well, maybe not fully settled but I’ve let 2016 become the past now and I’m ready to move onto bigger and better things and use this year to change things. I’m also in the last 9 months of freedom before I start going to sixth form… so I’m going to use it wisely (to study for my GCSEs… 😦 )

Anyway, I know I did my 2017 Resolutions for you a few days ago but I feel like resolutions and bucket lists are completely different things but are also kind of connected. I feel like resolutions are about shaping yourself into a better person and ending the year feeling like you’ve changed and become the person you’ve always wanted to be (or at least made a start at working towards that) and I feel like bucket lists are just little things that you would like to do or experience. I have a life-long bucket list which you can go and read here but I also like making smaller bucket list for specific things, like Christmas and summer. I’ve decided to make a 2017 Bucket List and share it here with you today. I have made this list by taking things off my life-long bucket list but because it’s a life-long bucket list there are many things that I can’t do until I’m older anyway, so to narrow my bucket list down these are the things I’m hoping to do this year!

1 . Fill A Photo Album – If you read my 2017 Resolutions you will know that I am currently doing 2 photo projects, one of them being ‘A photo a day for a year’ and the other being ‘a selfie a day for a year’, one of my bucket list goals is to fill a photo album. I don’t know why, I guess it’s because with all this digital technology people take hundreds of photos and save them onto their tablets, laptops and phones and then don’t do anything with them – other than post the odd one on Throwback Thursday  – there’s something really nice and original about a photo album and I would really love to complete both of these projects and then put them in a scrapbook together – or at least the ‘photo a day for a year’ photos because maybe a scrapbook full of varying different photos of my own face might be a bit weird. But we’ll see.

2 . Become More Social – I don’t like to think of myself as an introvert because I do go out and I’m a very busy person. However, I don’t have very much confidence when it comes to talking to people in certain situations. When I’m at work I can talk non-stop with my friend and colleagues but for some reason in other situations I just can’t find words to speak to people, inside I’m desperate to speak to people and I would really love to make more friends this year (maybe I can at sixth form which I will hopefully be starting in September) and kind of improve my social skills even though in the right situations there’s nothing wrong with them.

3 . Have Perfect Teeth – This has been on my bucket list for a long time and it’s not really something that’s within my control as long as I stick with the orthodontist treatment and keep them clean and healthy everything else is down to nature. However, this year I’m getting my braces off and so by definition as the only reason for having braces is so that you can have perfect teeth like society demands. I’m very excited to be able to tick this off my bucket list at the end of the year and have perfect glistening white teeth that I can feel confident with.

4 . Finish My Fanfiction Novel – For NaNoWriMo last year (which I plan to do this year as well) I started writing a fanfiction novel (you’ll never guess in what fandom) because I was just too busy to both write and come up with an original idea, I also wanted to have a stab at writing fanfiction as I know it’s a widely popular genre of novel and I was really interested to see if I could write one. So I started and I won NaNoWriMo (reaching my 50,000 by 18th November) but the novel is no where near complete, however, I’ve stopped working on it because I’ve been so busy, this year I would really love to complete it – maybe it can be my summer project as I will have finished my GCSEs and have no more work to do until sixth form starts! Yay! I’m so excited!

5 . Finish My Film – Now before you get excited and planning cinema trips with your friends to see the great new blockbuster made by the one and only Inspired Teen I would just like to clarify that in fact it’s nothing exciting. I am currently doing a qualification in film and drama and as part of the coursework I need to make a film. However, it’s proving increasingly difficult because I don’t have anyone that’s all that keen on helping or being in the film, so I need to find those people or find a way to do a solo project without the requirement of cast members. My coursework should be completed by June so it can be moderated – I’m incredibly scared that I’m not going to get it done! I might create some kind of documentary… maybe… I’m not sure.

6 . Do Tumblr’s 100 Days Of Productivity – I started doing this late last year, I think I got up to day 11 or something like that and then just lost all motivation and stopped. This year I really want to pick it up again and finish it and with all this GCSE work to be doing I can’t see that it will be much of a problem. I just need to remember to document my study sessions. I am so scared for these GCSEs it’s insane. Like, I’m truly, properly, terrified in a way I’ve never been before and I know it’s only going to get worse from here, which is why I need all the motivation and productivity I can get to see me through.

7 . Start Running Often – Last April when I was on holiday I did a lot of running and I really enjoyed it and felt so much livelier and loose after it (as in, my muscles weren’t all tense and aching) and it was whilst on holiday and whilst running that I felt the most positive that I had all year and so I’d really like to pick that up again this year and for longer than five days. My overall goal is to be running everyday but I don’t think that’s likely with the schedule I have at the moment so we’re just going for running often for now.

I think that’s all for now, if I think of anything more I might come along and add it but I feel like these are my biggest goals other than my resolutions to get done in 2017. I really feel like this year is going places, or taking me places, I feel so positive and excited for this year (although that’s how I felt last year) it’s like January 1st came and it gave me this great new burst of life and energy and I know that lots is going to happen and I am so excited!

Let me know in the comments below what your goals for 2017 are! If you enjoyed this post please give it a like! You can also follow me if you aren’t already to see many more posts from me throughout 2017!

To get in touch you can do so using my e-mail – aninspiredteen@gmail.com

Happy New Year!

Inspired Teen 🙂

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My Hopes For 2017

Hey guys, I’m feeling so positive and motivated so far this month. Yesterday I did loads of studying – from 10am until 6:30 pm with a break of about an hour and a half and today I’ve been studying since 10 and am now on my designated ‘lunch break’ but today I plan to study until 7. I decided to take my ‘lunch break’ as my time to write this blog post for you guys as I didn’t do it this morning when I woke up and don’t want to be publishing a post as late as when I finish studying.

Today’s post is going to be about my hopes for 2017. Not my goals or my achievements but my hopes, for both myself and for the world.

One of my biggest hopes for the year is that all the terrible political things that happened last year don’t terribly affect us this year, I don’t think there was a single political thing that happened last year that I actually agreed with and I hate the fact that so much was decided about my future and the future of all young people without the consent of those young people. I hate that I can’t vote when so much of politics is based around young people’s futures. I remember when the conservatives decided that you had to pay for a university education, I was really young and my level of political understanding was very limited yet looking back on it now I remember seeing it on the news and asking my Mum about it, to explain why it was such a big deal when I didn’t understand it, I remember once I understood filling with this sense of dread that I didn’t understand, I felt like my future had been destroyed at a time when I hadn’t even planned what GCSEs I was doing – I hadn’t even considered that I was going to be sitting GCSEs because I was too young, yet, with one terrible action, the conservatives filled this young girl with a sense of dread that she didn’t even understand about her future. I hate that they have so much power over me and I’m not even considered old enough to make decisions on my own future’s behalf. I know that this year a lot of political things are going to be happening, lots of things will change and I know we’re going to start to see the affects of that this year, I only hope that they don’t destroy my life any more than they already have.

I hope that I settle into sixth form okay, I haven’t been offered a place yet but if I do, I’m hoping that I settle in okay and make friends there. One of the things I hate most about growing up is having to make all of these choices and not really knowing what they’re going to be like. I know that when you’re growing up everyone has to make tough decisions, decide whether to stay on at the school they’re at, move to a new school, go to college or quit school altogether – for me though, it feels even more uncertain because I’ve never been to school. Never once set foot in a school hallway during school time. Of course I have activities that take place in schools and I’ve been to open days but I have no concept properly of what a school day is actually like; although I’m trying to come up with a study schedule that is a lot like a school day so I’m prepared. Because I’m unprepared for a school environment I can’t even properly say whether I’m making the right choice, and that terrifies me. I’m planning the next two years of my life on something I don’t even understand. I really hope I start at sixth form and it’s what I hope it’s going to be, I make friends and I get on well there. I hope that I get good grades and that the teachers like me and that nothing bad happens there. I hope that I haven’t condemned myself to something I’m going to hate for the next two years of my life.

I hope that I stay as close with my friends and family as I always have been and was last year, I hope that starting at school doesn’t lessen my friendship with my best friend or effect my relationship with my family. I hope that I gain more confidence in order to make new friends and feel better about myself and that my relationship with my family continues to improve.

I hope that I manage to get all of my studying done in time and get good grades. My grades are really important to me, I’m not someone who thinks that a person has no value if they can’t pass exams, I actually think they’re pretty stupid and don’t prove anything but at the same time for my own self-confidence and self-worth I need to prove to myself that I’m capable. I guess it’s because of society, I feel like if I can’t pass tests that the government claim prove my intelligence then I’m obviously not intelligent, which is ridiculous because I don’t think that about others. Anyway, I plan on studying really hard from this day onwards until the last day of my final GCSE and then I plan on having an absolutely fantastic summer before I start at my first ever school. But without the grades I can’t go to sixth form. As an aspiring actor I don’t actually need the academic ability and I could potentially just become a successful actor by going to auditions and getting parts etc. but at the same time, I’ve decided on the path I want to take to getting an acting career and that’s sixth form and then university and if I don’t get the grades although it’s not going to necessarily affect my career – it’s not like I want to be a doctor or mathematician – but I want have the education I planned on having.

My last hope for 2017 out of the list of my biggest hopes is that my acting continues to improve and I continue to gain confidence in my acting. Without sounding too big-headed I saw a great improvement in my acting last year, although I wasn’t getting any big parts I did get two of the most challenging parts I’ve ever had and they required a lot of confidence and acting as they weren’t personalities I’m familiar with and at first I wondered if I wouldn’t be able to do it because I was too self-conscious, but I managed it and I felt so good that I’d overcome my fear of looking silly, because at the end of the day, it’s not me, the person that the audience is seeing on stage is not me and they don’t know me. It doesn’t matter how silly they think I look, I’m never going to meet them in person and they’re not judging me because I’m not being me. Anyway, even if I don’t get any big parts I hope that I continue to improve my acting skills and getting challenging characters to play.

That’s all for this post, I hope you enjoyed it – if you did please give it a like! Do let me know your hopes for 2017 below, whether it’s personal hopes or hopes that stop the world from falling apart like it started to last year.

If you want to get in touch, do not hesitate to do so using my e-mail – aninspiredteen@gmail.com

Happy New Year!

Inspired Teen 🙂

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