Drifting Apart

Hey guys, sorry so much for my inactivity it’s so hard to explain but even when I have enough time sometimes I am just so tired and exhausted and desperate for a break that I can’t even get my mind to function. Although I don’t see this blog as work and do it for fun and don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love it! It’s changed me as a person, I feel like there’s this whole new world that now exists for me to experience and take part in but sometimes it just becomes incredibly overwhelming to try and write a blog post.

Anyway, before starting this blog I always had dreams that I would one day start a blog and occasionally I would open a word document and just write blog posts and never publish them anywhere, whilst this is not one of those posts it is based on the exact same topic. The topic I have dedicated this blog post to is friendships, whether they be best friends or just friends in general, you have inevitably had a moment in your life when you have started drifting apart from someone you once called your best friend.

I am writing this post to talk about my own experience and to try and give anyone reading this advice in case it hasn’t yet happened to them but if it does.

Life is an incredibly funny thing and it’s amazing how we have so many different relationships within it that can mean so much and then suddenly become nothing, it’s one of the most horrible feelings in the entire world and it can feel at times like you will never recover, like you are going to be stuck feeling slightly lonely and slightly heart-achy for the rest of your life, like there will always be a space in your life that no one else can fill, but I promise you that feeling will go away.

I have had around six best friends in my life, only one of those best friends is still my friend now. The other five all lost contact for different reasons but the biggest being that we all grew up and as a result grew apart. Another funny thing about life is that we are changing all the time; I am most likely changing whilst I write this post, I will probably change a little bit more tomorrow and next week and in a month. We are constantly gaining new interests and losing old ones as a result of this; suddenly you don’t have anything in common with your friends anymore, eventually it will become clear to you whether your relationship can continue or not. Suddenly things that really matter to you will be of no interest to them and sometimes you don’t even self-consciously realise that what is really happening is that you and your best friend are no longer suited to each other and that even if you remain in contact you won’t remain as close as you once were.

Whilst I’ve lost around about five best friends in my relatively short lived life there were two best friends that affected me the most because they were friends slightly later on in life, it mattered more to me because it feels like I had shared more with them and we certainly did a lot of things and had a lot of memories and then suddenly it was like they weren’t answering my texts and weren’t inviting me to things anymore and when I did see them I was kind of forcing my own conversation onto them rather than just letting the two of them talk about what they wanted to talk about and eventually I saw them less and less and missed them more and more. It was about a year and a half before I saw them again and it was like meeting up with strangers, they were completely different and I realised that they weren’t even people I wanted to be friends with, yet for a year and a half everyday it felt like there was something missing from my life and that I wasn’t as happy as I could have been if I was still in touch with them, I felt upset that they didn’t reply to my messages and I felt slightly neglected or like a failure, maybe not neglected or a failure but more that I had done something wrong or done something to upset them but they wouldn’t tell me, anyway, I met up with them again and suddenly it was like they were the complete opposite of the people they once were and they had opinions that I didn’t share and just generally seemed to be surrounded by a negative atmosphere that I didn’t want to get involved in and it was this that finally made me realise that actually, nothing had happened between us and that there was never a specific thing that stopped us being friends it just happened naturally and after that meeting I was ready to move on, I now only think back to my friendship with them as an amazing fond memory and an amazing experience. I am still grateful to them for playing a part in my life and making the three years in which I knew them such an amazing few years, I don’t even know what I would have done with those years of my life if it hadn’t been from them, but I know now that our lives were never meant to cross for longer than they did, that there is a time and place for everything and that time and place came and passed. They helped shape who I am today and now they’ve moved on with their lives and I’ve moved on with mine.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is it will be horrible for a while, it will feel like suddenly nothing feels right anymore, that things happen- either exciting or bad – and there’s no one to tell it to, it will feel like suddenly there’s no one left in your life and yeah, it will be a killer but eventually you’ll realise that everything is going to be okay.

The main thing that finally made me realise that I would get passed this and that I would end up with more friends is when I met my current best friend on a camping trip three years ago, it took a while for us to actually become best friends but very soon I realised that she was now replacing that space in my life reserved for my old best friends, she not only filled up that gap but so much more of it as well, she has changed my life so much more than I think she even knows, she has shaped who I am today and I honestly don’t know what I would do without her. She’s helped teach me what a real friend is, what really loving and caring about someone is, what it means to actually call someone your best friend, we talk about so much more than anything I have ever talked to other friends about, she has made me realise the difference between what really matters in the world and what we just pretend matters, the things that people really need to have in common rather than the smaller things that turn out never to matter.

So, as a conclusion, life’s painful, losing friends is going to hurt more than anything but everything will get better, it won’t be like this forever – friends move on and they meet new people, people grow apart and discover new interests, but at the end of the day there is always going to be someone out there that wants to call you their best friend and there is always going to be someone out there that you want to call your best friend. Everything will work out.

I hope you liked this post and felt like you could relate to it or that it helped you in some way, obviously this post is just about friends drifting apart not losing a friend due to different circumstances as I don’t have any experience in that. It’s also not about relationships such as boyfriend/girlfriend but you might be able to apply it to that if you wanted although I personally don’t have any experience with it. I know this post got a little cheesy but sometimes you have the urge to be cheesy right?

If you did enjoy this post make sure to give it a like and if you have any more advice on this topic or can relate feel free to leave a comment as I always love to read and respond! If you aren’t already, make sure to follow me – as they always say on YouTube; it’s free!

That’s all for now!

Inspired Teen 🙂